White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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