I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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