its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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