whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He felt like a one man threesome
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
