office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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