I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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