And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
