I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I need to align my fucking chakras
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
