For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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