Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize