nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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