Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
