I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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