So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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