I love black thongs
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
