only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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