imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
