So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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