I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Randomize
