You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
