big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
