i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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