apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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