Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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