so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize