Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
