Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh god it's open bar.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
