That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
