hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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