CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
