hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize