I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
