If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she peed on how many people?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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