his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
