OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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