hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
