I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
