i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
