so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize