I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize