Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just invented taco cereal.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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