I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
