He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Green mimosas i think yes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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