try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize