Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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