Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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