Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
