why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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