Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
