She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
