C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
