Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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