Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
