I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize