If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
