In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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