my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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