My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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