at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
