so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
