Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
