Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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