wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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