Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
