I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize