I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
