dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
