didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
