Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
