Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
