Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
