Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
